Media

Media

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

My CPTSD Story: What CPTSD Feels Like To Me

I wouldn’t inflict the extreme torture of Complex PTSD on anyone. No one deserves to feel like this — perpetually hating, punishing and castigating myself — all while pretending like nothing is wrong with the rest of society. Even in sleep, there is no solace — the insomnia, night terrors, and sleep paralysis are often worse than my pain during the daytime.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

When a Victim Doesn’t Know She’s a Victim: Survivor’s Guilt, the “Fawn” Response, Trauma Bonds, and Setting Boundaries

“I can’t forgive myself.” Daily, I uttered this phrase.

When I said it, my loved ones were concerned. “But what do you need to forgive yourself for?” They’d ask, perplexed. For them, there was nothing I’d done that needed forgiving.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

“Was It Even Abuse?” Unpacking Psychological Abuse

What type of abuser can break their victim enough to land her in an ambulance without even touching her? The psychological abuser.

They walk like us, they talk like us, and they may even have pristine reputations in their communities. However, nothing can prepare a victim for the way her life will change once a psychological abuser “picks” her.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

Standing Alone and Finding Strong Female Friendships After Falling Victim to Mean Girls

As a woman, I struggled with female friendships growing up. I found many other girls and women to be notoriously catty, jealous, and downright mean. I liked being '“one of the guys” with my guy friends, and I much preferred having a steady boyfriend over being part of a large female clique.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

Restoring My Spirituality After Years of Religious Abuse

As a trauma survivor with nowhere to turn, I did what do many desperate and lonely do: I sought Jesus.

Having growing up in Texas, Christianity was the only belief system I knew, so I found the dusty Bible in the back of my closet and opened it. I was soon filled with a deep love for my faith and started researching more and more about my God. I found a profound sense of hope in believing that there was more to life than the suffering I knew and that there was a better world awaiting me.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

I Wasn’t Born Hating Myself

The flashbacks were extra intense one night, and my internal anger was boiling over. As an adult, I have always lived alone, so my apartment was my little oasis (and also my torture chamber) where I could express my emotions without people noticing. Most of the apartments I lived in after I left my parents’ house were situated such that I had a decent amount of privacy on the edge of the building without tenants close by, so my screaming and yelling in the privacy of my room to get my emotions out were a regular and private occurrence.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

Trauma Survivors, Your Anger is Not Your Own

“Anger” is a loaded word, especially when used against trauma survivors who retain anger as a natural reaction to their abuse.

My years of trauma caused a lot of built-up anger in me. But, once I started to heal and gradually escaped my constant fight-or-flight mode, I realized that I was not a naturally angry person at my core. This surprised me because I had previously accepted the fact that I was just born an angry person and that, as a highly sensitive person, I was just naturally set off by small things.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

Lessons From My 90-Year-Old Grandmother

My Grandmother is one of my best friends and biggest role models.

Even when separated by distance, she’s always been by my side. She has shared my joy and shed tears with me and knows my secrets. She’s always given me a space to talk, and she listens with open ears.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

Rejoining Social Media with a Foundation of Personal Contentment

Just a handful of years ago, people didn’t know the details of what their social circles were up to unless they read it in the newspaper, heard town gossip, or experienced the good old-fashioned way of talking face to face or on the telephone with others. In today’s world, through social media, people can figuratively peek into the windows of another person’s “house,” a.k.a., their minds, hopes, fears, dreams, and intimate details about their lives.

CPTSD Foundation Guest Blog Post

Getting Rid of My Mirrors to Conquer Self-Loathing

Did you know that mirrors hide our deep, dark secrets?

I was driving through East Texas one sunny morning in January for my tiny home retreat. (A tiny home was my spontaneous idea to minimize distractions and focus on myself to kickstart my healing journey.) I stopped at a quaint little coffee shop. As I walked in, I saw a group of about eight townspeople singing folk and worship music amongst the beautiful sounds of harmonicas, guitars, and a harp.